Monday, July 13, 2009 . 6:44 PM

今天早上，不知怎么一回事。
知道爸爸想驾车在我去上学。
心里非常开心。

在车上，突然体会到爸爸工作一直都很辛苦
却什么都不管
自己又不好好念书，好好珍惜这个机会
爸爸为了我们，付出了这么多
我却空着手，什么也没给他
下了车到学校之后，突然间好像哭出来
但是还是一口气，忍住了。

At home, my old classmate called me again.
Stress and scared, the feeling came again
I dont know wad I was afraid of
I tried to end her call again
And went for tuition.




On the way to tuition.
I struggled.
felt like crying, but i held on
reflecting and persuading myself
I finally realised the answer that I'm been looking for
I was actually afraid of losing the things that I have been holding onto
I was actually afraid that she might steal away the things that I cherish
That's why previous, I wouldnt want her to join in the religious class



现在全都想通。
我把手上的东西都放开了
什么也不害怕
因为是属于我的东西，不管怎样都会回到我身边的
心乐的一块石头，总算落了地 :D
感觉好舒服喔！:)

So together, but so broken up inside...

Sunday, July 12, 2009 . 4:05 PM

Not wanting people whom I dont like to join into my religious class...
Am I very selfish??
Sis said to bring that old classmate of mine into fotang
Honestly, I dont like it
maybe it's I who dont like her
but in order to save one person
I had to control my mind
I had to think of her, think of helping her
saving her...

But I just dont like the feeling
I really cannot imagine that once she join us
she'll become my friend again
and a friend whom she'll contact me for life
and I dont wanna know anything bout her
I dont want to be related to her
I just dont wanna be friends with her again.
cos of the bad impression that she gave me when we both ended our friendship

It's so hard to forgive.

Am I just too selfish??

So together, but so broken up inside...

Thursday, July 9, 2009 . 7:20 PM

Hehe...
I still break my own rules again!
I'm not supposed to online anymore.
But this is the LAST time!
Yea, I promise! :D



Anyway, just finish watching "My Girl"
Haha...
Nice drama.
Sometimes sad, sometimes funny
Overall is a good drama :D
I like it! LOL!

I'm not suppose to update my blog again
as I mentioned at my few previous post
Haiz...
It's so hard to limit myself.
BUT
this will be the LAST time.

Well, since I've alrdy post this
might as well I'll say about my recent life...

These few days cant study
Cos piles of homework havent finish
Doing it everyday
Now left with 2 or 3 more, I guess...

AND

This few days dunno wad happen to me
sometimes suddenly will said unpleasant words to Marcus
Maybe I'm being too close to him
so I treat him like my own bro
OR
He's just so nice to be bullied
LOL...
But I really didnt mean it la...

DECIDED going to Ngee Ann Polytechnic
Choosing ' Psychology & Community Services'
Cut off point is 10!!
Must really work hard arh!
Heard many of my friends and classmate also want to go Ngee Ann Poly
I think going into this course would be really hard for me
I've calculated my L1B4
If i work and study hard
I can score the most 9 points for my L1B4
unless my maths could get a B3
That would be even better

Anyway, I'm not going update for a few months?
Life is unpredictable.
However, right now
I dont wanna care about the problems with my wadever relationship or friendship with my friends
I can be independent
I can be alone.
I just know that my target is 'Psychology & Community Services' at Ngee Ann Poly

Aja Aja Fighting!!!
頑張って!

So together, but so broken up inside...

Thursday, July 2, 2009 . 5:50 PM

O lvls Oral just finished!!
finally!
Now that is left is listening compre
I think I nid to retake Chinese O lvls again
I dun think I can at least score an A2
Haiz...

感觉好没自信哦！
得去找一些解药来治好我的信心

今天，我的朋友说了一些不该说的话
真的很伤人。
虽然感到不爽快，但是，我却忍下来。
我告诉我自己，算了吧。
不要再吵下去，她根本不理解事情的真相。
但是心里还是反抗自己的话。很想在顶回。
一直忍着，好辛苦。
我记得“要原谅一个无心伤害人的人，不能做一个轻易就被别人伤害的人”。
English : Forgive those who unintentionally hurt us. Do not be someone who is easily hurt by others.
我也记得“自己害自己，莫过于乱发脾气”, “看别人不顺眼，使自己修养不够。”
English：Giving vent to irrational anger would be equaivalent to harming oneself, one who constantly dislike others, reveals his lack of moral cultivation.

这一些，我都记得很清楚。
虽然真的很伤人，但是我真的不能吵下去。
就忍着。
或许是这件事让我对自己没信心吧。
我好累。
感觉上，学校里常在我身边的朋友们，都开始不管我了。
我有这么令人不喜欢吗？
不想管这些了。也应该开始独自一个人。
现在最重要的，就是找回自己的信心。

sometimes i really wish there is someone or something else that could let me hug onto it and let my uncontrollable tears fall out.

So together, but so broken up inside...